We are our own worst critics, but did you know that the way we speak to ourselves ‘inside our minds’ greatly influences our success, happiness, and calm? Negative self talk is the process of thinking or saying negative things to ourselves inside our minds. We actually dialogue with ourselves all day long – thinking about how we feel, how we view, and how we desire. We are constantly explaining and processing the things we see and experience at every step of our journey, and we use this internal dialogue to figure out how we feel and think about hings.
The problem, and poison, arises when our self talk goes negative. When we find that our subconscious and conscious minds are filled with thoughts of how bad we are, what we cannot do, how afraid we are, and how inferior we are – things start going bad. What we think about and tell ourselves becomes our reality. When we trash talk ourselves all day long, the energy and confidence simply doesn’t exist anymore to help us win.
What We Say
Most guys fall prey to negative self talk, but few will openly discuss it. We’re experts at comparing ourselves to other men in countless ways, and we’re not afraid to beat ourselves up for our perceived shortcomings on the inside – despite what we may appear to be doing on the outside. Most men are experts at putting on a tough outward f ace while keeping the reality of feelings hidden inside. As men, we use negative self talk about our intelligence, income, bodies, popularity, success, appearance, and attraction just as much as the fairer sex, and sometimes more.
What Negative Self Talk Looks Like
Think about the last time you watched a pro sports game in person on on TV. Whether you were conscious of it or not, your subconscious mind was contrasting and analyzing the game in ways you may not be able to imagine the entire time. Threats, ‘what if’, and desires were all being processed at every second of the clock – and you may not have even been aware of it!
To keep us safe, our minds gather information without cease. Our brains are constantly looking at the possible threats, opportunities, and needs that surround us while memorizing what works and what doesn’t work. Stand next to a guy who’s taller, stronger, and heavier than you – your subconscious ‘primal mind’ is going to go crazy! This might feel like jealousy or fear, but in most cases it’s just your brain telling itself that you’d best keep this guy off of your enemy list.
Negative self talk is quiet. It happens in the deepest recesses of our minds. When we trash talk ourselves or our abilities, we often do it without consciousness. We don’t calculate our failures the same way we calculate our budgets – it happens in a different department. So, seeking out negative self talk and nipping it in the bud can be a challenge, but taking the time to do it creates miracles.
How To Win
In the case of negative self talk, many experts suggest 9 positives to 1 negative. This means that every time you catch yourself having one of those nearly silent hurtful thoughts about yourself, you have to consciously and passionately counteract it with 9 positive thoughts.
Negative You: That guy makes way more money than I do
Conscious You: Caught ya!
Positive You: I am happy with my income, I will make more as I grow in my career, the sky is the limit, I’m just starting out and have my entire future to look forward to, etc.
As you can see, the process is actually very simple – but you need to take it seriously. If you are one of the many men who beats himself up through mental chatter, you have to buckle down and counteract those poisonous thoughts to really change your life.
The rewards to becoming a guy who thinks positive, believes positive, and acts positive are endless. The more good energy and empowerment you bring in to your life, the more you’re going to find doors open up for you as soon as you walk up to them. Experts, including people in traditional health sciences like psychology, have found that reinforcing positive thinking and stepping in to a place of seeing yourself in a good light dramatically changes the game!
Here’s a life of endless possibilities, guys!